I’m not Rude, I’m Socially Awkward
Story of my life you guys. Every since I was little I can recall my mother scolding me not to be rude to people or my friends. Truth is I’m not a rude person at all. I am actually just really socially awkward and have social anxiety.
More times it’s just easier to stay silent then to scramble over my words to talk. I may even go over things to say before I go to events and completely forgot them as soon as I walk in the door. The more people the more quiet I can be.
All I have some days is to laugh at every thing someone says. To the point I get thinking in my head why are you still laughing?? Sometimes I can tell I’m laughing a weird laugh too. The I’m uncomfortable and don’t know what to say laugh. Reminds me of the work laugh off of the show Friends. As if saying odd things wasn’t bad enough.
If the odd laughing and saying things that didn’t make since wasn’t bad enough let’s try straight up avoidance. I can’t count how many times I turn my head or duck so I don’t have to talk to someone, even the neighbors. Seriously not trying to be rude, but I’m horrible with small talk. I’d rather just avoid the whole situation then to fumble over my words and seem like some incompetent person.
All and all I wish I could go up to people I know and just start to chat. Shoot I have a hard time talking to people I know well when I see them out and about. If only my anxious mind would shut up so I could think to talk normal! I’m not rude I promise I’m not trying to be. I’m just socially awkward and hope you can understand.
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