All too often in my life I have heard the phrase, “you have to choose to be happy”. When I think about my life I never think that I am not happy or don’t live a happy life. You know what does get in the way sometimes of having a good day? Being a pessimist. I have a hard time controlling it. Some days I may be able to muster up more courage and keep my anxious mind at bay. Other days all I can focus on is the bad things. If you are not a pessimist you more than likely can have next to little idea the struggle one may be going through.
“Pessimist: a feeling or belief that bad things will happen in the future : a feeling or belief that what you hope for will not happen.”
Often in my mind I will focus and find the negative right off the bat. This is how I have been for as long as I can recall. I don’t know why I am the way I am, but just know that is how I am. To me I see so much negative and bad in the world. My mind always goes straight to the bad in almost all situations. I think being a pessimist and having anxiety may go hand in hand. Anxiety makes me worry and think up irrational thoughts daily.
My kids are playing on the playground and all I can do is worry that they may fall and get hurt.
I should be enjoying their laughter and playfulness more.
I wake up and think about all that may be a burden for my day.
I should wake up and think today will be a good day.
Planning a camping trip and I worry will the camper break down? Will we get lost? Will there be bears? What if the kids get hurt?
I should be planning a fun filled trip.
Over the years it has become very noticeable to me the way my mind works. Even more so living with a man (my husband) that will tell me when my actions are a bit off. I give a lot of credit to my husband for helping me find the balance in my life. As I’ve gotten older I have learned that it is okay to change your ways. Even if it means the way you think. While it cannot be an easy task, I do believe if you set your mind to it you can do anything. I don’t want to be a “Negative Nancy”. I don’t want to feel this impenetrable doom each day I can feel.
Today I woke up and walked out into the kitchen. I thought about how we are supposed to go pick pumpkins with the family and looked out the kitchen window and thought to myself, ‘today is going to be a good day”. To you that may sound silly, but to me it immediately stuck out and I was thinking wow did I just say that? I was thinking about how the sun was shining and how it’s going to be nice and warm day for us. It is absolutely amazing the power your mind has. I have come a long way I feel in life to get to where I am. I have had ups and downs as many do in life. I have chosen to push forward and work on my pessimist mind. I’m aware of the negativity. I’m also aware that it’s not always so easy as choosing to be happy and see the positive. Sometimes that gray cloud can hover over you for quite awhile. Don’t let that cloud stay there forever! Even if it is raining out you can choose to open that umbrella and jump in the puddles!! Seriously…I feel so much better with myself after accepting that it is okay to change and okay to try to become the best version of yourself. Not only for the people around you but for yourself as well! I look forward to living a more fulfilled life with out as much worry and pessimism. It won’t be easy, but I know I can do it and you can too if you put your mind to it!