What I have learned in 10 Years
What I have learned in 10 Years of my Relationship
My husband and I went to the same school throughout all of our childhood, I was one year below him. We both knew of each other but never talked to one another throughout all the years of school. After high school, we both went to different colleges but ended up working at the same place, and this is where our journey started.
Throughout these last 10 years we have learned a lot when it comes to a lasting relationship. We have seen many relationships around us fall apart, and I would like to think that we have learned a few things along the way to keep our relationship strong. I believe there are 3 big things to keeping a relationship strong.
This should go without saying, but there is no way for a strong relationship to exist between 2 people if you both do not compromise. A relationship, especially when it becomes a marriage is, if nothing else, a big working compromise. By compromising I do not mean just giving up everything you want for that of your partner, it definitely needs to be a good balance of give and take. One thing I have seen in relationships that have failed is that one person takes this idea to the extreme, they constantly just do what their partner wants and thinks by doing this that they are making them happy and this will result in a successful relationship. Well let me tell you, this seems to be the fastest way to a failed relationship, because eventually you will realize you are giving everything up for your partner, yet you feel that you are getting nothing in return.
Compromising successfully can be a very hard thing to figure out. There has to be a nice balance that both are happy with. Compromising should not feel like settling. If compromising to you always feels like settling, then maybe you should re-think the idea of being in a long-term relationship. There is no perfect equation to tell you how to compromise in your relationship, it all comes with the relationship and your effort.
You can’t expect to have a working relationship if it is going to be all one sided. Somethings gotta give once in awhile. If you love someone enough you will be willing to compromise and work on finding that balance between the both of you.
It may sound like something that your mother told you when you were a child, but SHARE. Don’t be a remote hog… LOL. You have to share now, plain and simple. Sharing means sharing not only physical things, but time as well. Share control too, meaning let your partner make everyday decisions like where to go to eat or whose parents to go to for the holidays.
Listening is one of those things that we think we are always doing, but in reality we are only hearing sounds. Listening involves really taking what your partner is saying in and understanding it. Whether they are talking about their day at work or some crazy idea they came up with that has no way of ever happening in this realm. The important thing is that you listen to them and actually understand what they are talking about because the topic is clearly important to your partner, so it at least deserves you to listen to and understand it, it shows you truly respect your partner.