Painful Truths Struggling with Anxiety that are Embarrassing to Admit
When the word anxiety comes up, what do you think of? Do you think about panic attacks and over worrying about things? That may be true, but what about those thoughts that consume your mind. The kind that you might not even realize you are doing. Or the kind that make you feel so utterly embarrassed that you even think that way in the first place. I wanted to share with you some very personal (crazy) thoughts that my anxious mind may go through. These are my Painful Truths Struggling with Anxiety that are Embarrassing to Admit.
⚫Wanting to go somewhere like a party or get together but at the same time not wanting to. You wonder who will be there, what will everyone be doing, and what you will talk about. Sometimes you can get to the event and just sit frozen in your car. You feel like you can’t move and don’t know what to do. So you sit and fidget and find things to pretend are keeping you busy until you feel conformable to go in.
⚫Sometimes getting upset because you can’t focus on what you need to do for the day. I can literally feel stuck and like I could just rip my head off. Why can’t I just think of what I need to do? That’s often times because I am trying to figure out the best way to maximize my time spent on the given future tasks ahead of me for that day. That ends up leaving me feeling frazzled and overwhelmed not being able to pick out a darn thing to even start. I’m left sulking because I can’t figure out what to do.
⚫Going to the gas station and having your husband (even when we were dating) get out of the car to pump gas and immediately you lock the doors because you don’t want someone to hop in and steal your car with you in it.
⚫Pretending you are busy looking at your phone or talking to someone on it so you can avoid any contact with people. Not because you are rude, but because the thought of small talk scares you and often makes you stutter over simple things like what year did you graduate…
⚫Not being able to call to order take out. For some reason, that makes no sense to you at all you, cannot make phone calls and avoid them at all costs. If you need to make a doctors appointment you have to write down silly things like yours and your kids birthdays so you don’t sound like a dope when you hmm and haw and make a mistake.
⚫Instead of enjoying your kids playing on the playground you are sitting there cringing telling them to be careful just waiting for them to get hurt.
⚫You freak out when people don’t message you back in what you think to be a timely manor. Why did they not text you back? Are they mad at you? Did you say something wrong?
⚫Not answering your door when someone knocks on it. The idea of some stranger at your house absolutely frightens you. What if they are there to kill you? Seriously though….why would they knock?! It never has to even make sense.
⚫When you finally do gain up the courage to go somewhere like an event or a party you have to find a spot where you feel most comfortable, and stay there. Maybe it’s a corner or a side wall farthest away from everyone, but that’s where you can find me. You are so nervous being somewhere and once you get in that safe spot you may not even leave that area till the end even if you really have to use the bathroom. Gosh it sounds so silly when you say it aloud, but I know I do it all…
⚫You hate going anywhere or doing anything alone. Because when you are alone it feels like you are the only one there for people to stare at, and let’s face it you might as well be wearing your underwear as you walk into that grocery store because that is totally the way you feel as you are doing something alone in a public place. At least with someone else with you it gives you that sense of comfort to be able to breath a little better as you go in.
These are my Painful Truths Struggling with Anxiety that are Embarrassing to Admit. Let us know in the comments below if you too struggle with any of these thoughts and how they make you feel. I think it’s important for us all to talk to each other and let it be known and to know that we are not alone and everything is alright even if your brain makes you think this way. More and more I speak up and share these things with my husband and he can sometimes laugh at me and sometimes he looks at me like I’m crazy, but in the end I can laugh with him and we can work together to make my “quirks” caused from my anxiety work better for me.